Running With The Helicopters
by loofahlover
Summary: Modern AU. Ace had never wanted to become a single parent at the age of 16. Nor did he ever regret it.
1. Chapter 1

**\- Luffy is a mistake -**

Ace is sixteen years old when it happens; too young to understand the weight of his life choices. Instead, he blames underage drinking and an eyeful of cleavage.

She's screaming at him in front of the school to take responsibility. He just wants Her to shut up. He's tempted to turn on his heels and just walk away, but then he'll be just like the father he despises. So he does what She wants. He takes responsibility like a proper man.

Incidentally, She does nothing to help. Just alternates between attracting attention from any sympathetic listener and complaining about how miserable pregnancy is.

It's Ace who actually registers the fact that they're having a baby. That two colossal idiots could have the ability to create _life_. He doesn't think this should be biologically possible. There should be some kind of safety switch for the body, for when it deems itself mature and responsible enough to become a parent.

Ace becomes the weirdo in the bookstore, reading baby magazines.

Makes Her swear off smoking and drinking for 10 months, which starts a whole series of screaming matches.

Tries to make Her swear off sex. With other people. Because they both know that a one-night stand and an impending baby doesn't by any means make them a couple. It helps that most guys are repelled off by Her increasingly round stomach.

 **\- Luffy is going to happen, whether they like it or not -**

They meet at the café near the school. He doesn't bother looking up from his magazine when She arrives. The less they make eye contact, the less inclined he'll feel to flip a table over.

She slams her purse on the table. "Two weeks…I missed the fucking deadline by two weeks! Seriously, just what is the different between 24 weeks and 26?!" She screeches without regard to the number of heads that turn their way.

"I thought you didn't want an abortion."

She snorts in Ace's direction. "I changed my mind, alright? Don't look so smug about it."

"Do I sound like I'm singing my fucking hallelujahs?" Ace pinches the bridge of his nose. A habitual gesture that's probably given him bruises by now. "A child has the right to exist. Doesn't matter what kind of screw-ups their parents are. They don't deserve to suffer for it."

Her pupils narrow. "Don't you start your glorified lectures again. It's not a child. It's a parasite. And it's making me feel disgusting and bloated."

Don't call my child a parasite, he silently throws back. He instantly regrets it, because the 'baby' and the 'infant' could be tolerated, but 'his child' was probably a concept he would never be able to wrap his mind around.

"Whatever." She throws off her sandals, slurps noisily at her frozen macchiato. Ace adds caffeine to the growing list of banned products. "I'm halfway through. Might as well get this over with. Besides, it might be fun." She pats her stomach smugly. "I'd be an awesome mom."

Ace suppresses his gag reflex. He reminds herself that She flip-flops her decisions on a regular basis, and when She inevitably feels like giving up the child for adoption, he'll have the forms signed, printed, and dated to shove into Her face.

 **\- Luffy is early, much too early –-**

Ace is having a nervous breakdown in the waiting room.

The medical staff walk by with sympathetic glances, assuming that he's worried about his lover and unborn child.

They get one out of the two correct; not great odds for a hospital.

They assure Ace that many mothers deliver via C-section these days. That modern technology has progressed to the point that they are very confident about their chances of success.

Ace almost wants to believe them. But he knows too well the dangers of childbirth. It's etched into his very existence and buried with his mother.

 **\- Luffy could implode universes with his eyes –-**

It's only been two minutes since Ace learned his son's name was Luffy.

Because while he was busy tearing his hair out, She was signing the birth registry. That moronic bitch. Who the hell decides to name their child "Fluffy"? But She had smudged the ink so it read "Luffy" instead.

Ace can't decide whether that's better or worse.

She's reluctantly feeding Luffy with a bottle of formula, complaining about how ugly the baby is. How She thought babies were supposed to have round, angelic faces and wide-open eyes, and it's probably all Ace's fault, because it sure as hell wasn't due to _Her_ genes. Ace bitterly thinks that if She'd bothered to read the articles he'd given her, then She'd know that all babies start out looking sanguine and wrinkly, never mind premature ones.

When he's handed the bundle to return to the crib, he almost drops it in his surprise. Innocent, guileless eyes peer into him. He can see life and love and stars colliding in that gaze. And he knows that babies can't smile until two months of age, but he thinks he can see the next closest thing.

 **\- Luffy cries –-**

But not as much as Ace had anticipated. It's only when he's hungry, or when his diaper needs to be changed, but mostly when he's hungry. And when Ace nudges a bottle of formula into his pouty little mouth, Luffy stops crying immediately and attacks it with a starving ferocity that makes Ace chuckle. It makes him forget the fact that he's been woken up twice tonight.

She's already gone. She'd tolerated motherhood for three days before deciding that even going to high school was better than having to deal with a baby. She'd told Ace that he was responsible for taking the baby to the orphanage, and to send the paperwork for her to sign.

He never contacts her again.

* * *

A/N: I have very little knowledge about the legalities of guardianship. Also, I apologize if this story sounds kinda pro-life. I was mostly just trying to hint at Ace's feelings in canon.

This story was kind of a project of mine that's hit a dead end. I kind of know how it's going to end, but I'm not quite sure how to get there. You're welcome to suggest scenes you want to see with baby!luffy and daddy!ace.

Also, I borrowed the cover image from the amazing violaland. Go check them out on tumblr.


	2. Chapter 2

**\- Luffy has the uncanny ability to bring people together -**

Nine months.

Marco and Thatch endured nine months of Ace brushing off his personal issues with a careless laugh.

Hearing Her and Ace screaming in the hall, behind the school, in the cafeteria; with Ace getting steadily more moody after each encounter.

Panicking as an ambulance pulled up in front of the school, with Her being wheeled in and Ace climbing into the back.

Getting texted by Ace that She gave birth. But when they asked further, all they got was, "It's fine, I got this."

Watching her, but not Ace, come back to school three days later. When they tried to interrogate her about Ace, she quickly walked away, but not before throwing back, "like I care."

Having Thatch flirt with the secretary at the front office, to get the information that Ace's guardian had called, and Ace would be gone two weeks on account of the flu. Even though Ace had ignored every single one of their phone calls and text messages for the past three days.

Needless to say, their patience had snapped.

And that's how Marco and Thatch ended up skipping school and arriving in front of Ace's apartment. Marco leaned against the nearby wall in a stormy mood, as Thatch slammed his fist repeatedly against Ace's flimsy front door.

"PORTGAS D. ACE, YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING US-" Thatch stopped. "What's that noise?" Something sounded very much like a wailing infant.

Marco blanched. "No way."

"No way what? Am I missing something here?"

The wailing got louder when Ace finally opened the door, greeting the two with dark circles under his eyes and a furious expression.

"You look like shit." Thatch immediately pushed against the door to stop Ace from slamming it in his face. "Sorry, that just slipped out. We've been worried, man!"

"Ace." Marco came forward. "You kept it?"

Ace didn't return the eye contact. "Him," he mumbled back, reluctantly letting them in.

Ace's apartment looked the same as always, except for a bunch of items littered all over his sofa: diaper packs, formula, onesies, etc. That, and a laundry basket was rocking back and forth on the floor. Ace reached in to pick up a tiny infant that was smothered in cotton blankets and red-faced from crying. He started whispering comforting words into its ear. When he caught his friends' confused expressions, he smiled sheepishly. "I didn't have the money to buy a crib."

The laundry basket was the least of their concerns.

Thatch was the first to stop gaping. "It works," he chortled. "You could carry him anywhere. The only thing I'd watch out for is making sure you don't accidently pop him in the washer."

Ace narrowed his eyes. "That's not funny."

"Alright, alright, Mr. Grumpy. So you're a babysitter!" Thatch confidently nods to himself. "So that's why you've been MIA all week."

Marco fixed his gaze at the bundle of blankets. "Almost, Thatch, almost."

Well, no, he's right," Ace corrects. "In a way. Just thinking of it as babysitting...indefinitely."

It took a moment for Thatch to make sense of Ace's cryptic words. When he did, his jaw practically hit the floor.

Marco made a gesture toward the baby. "So I take it that's Portgas D. …"

"Luffy," Ace answered.

"What's a loofy?"

"None of your business."

Marco didn't ask further, assuming it was a sore subject.

"A baby?" Thatch finally wheezed.

"More importantly," Marco pointed out, "Garp's gonna kill you when he finds out."

"A baby?!" Thatch started getting louder.

Marco tried to shout over Thatch and the infant. "Assuming he hasn't already. I mean, does he know yet?"

"You have a BABY!"

Ace quickly shushed them, rocking a hysterical Luffy. "Guys, I swear, are you _trying_ to make me punch you? You're scaring him!"

Thatch seemed uncertain. "Are you sure that's even your kid?"

"Of course." Ace started to slowly pace around the room, rocking Luffy the whole time. "First thing I did after finding out, was to get a paternity test."

"But she could have lied to you."

"No she couldn't. I was there for the results."

"But what if she paid the doctor off? The nurses? What if she snuck into the lab and-"

"Really Thatch?"

Marco had other concerns. "Besides, aren't those tests only 99% accurate?"

Ace looks at him is disbelief. "99? I'd kill for a 99 in world history."

"Ace, this isn't calculus. There are 2000 kids in our school. That would be like twenty students having the wrong parent." Marco was about to go on, but he noticed Ace hold Luffy just a little tighter. And that's when it hit him. This was no longer about 'responsibility' and suffering through Her whims. For some reason, Ace actually wanted to keep this kid. Marco leaned over Luffy, who had started to quiet down. "I see a freckle."

Ace looked like he wanted to cry. "You do?"

Marco didn't. "It's barely noticeable, but yeah."

"How's his appetite?" Thatch asked.

Ace broke into a grin. "He's been going through formula like a starved animal."

Thatch laughed. "Should have guessed it. He probably takes his appetite from you as well. Here, give him to me. You're holding him wrong."

Ace freaked out and handed Luffy over. "How do you know that?"

"I'm the oldest of six. I know my way around kids."

"Really? Do you think you could maybe give me some pointers?"

"I suppose I could," Thatch smugly responded. "Who knows what you'll ending up doing without me." He caught Ace giving him a funny look. "What?"

"Nothing. Just surprised. I didn't think you guys would be ok with all this. At the very least, I thought you'd be mad at me."

Marco raised an eyebrow. "Of course we are. You've been ignoring us for nine freaking months."

Thatch nodded in agreement.

"Heh." At least Ace had the good sense to look embarassed. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Ok, but all things aside," Marco just had to interrupt, "you can't do this."

Ace groaned. "Marco."

"Always the killjoy," Thatch muttered.

"I'm saying this for your own good."

"I'm sixteen!" Ace hisses, lowering his voice down as he glanced at Luffy. "I can handle this!"

"You're ONLY sixteen. Do you really know what you're getting into?"

"Probably not," Ace admits. "But I can't…there's no way I can go back."

"Obviously," Marco rolled his eyes. Especially now that Ace was getting attached to his…child. The idea would take some getting used to.

"That's not what I meant." Ace scratched his head as he tried to come up with the right words. "It's hard to explain, but there was something missing. Only I didn't know what is was, until Luffy just, I don't know, popped into my life."

Marco thought about it for a moment.

At school, Ace was known to be easygoing; the popular kid. But most people didn't witness the moments where he let his smile fall and he adopted a lonely, far-off look.

Ace would always scoff at other people's complaints about siblings and overbearing parents. So it took a while to realize he didn't have any.

And he took every opportunity to pile Marco and Thatch into his apartment to hang out, or do homework, or sleep over. Probably because this place was too big for just one teen, still stumbling to adulthood.

"He's my family now," Ace quietly said, staring at the bundle in Thatch's arms. Then he tried to brush off his seriousness with a chuckle. "Besides, I didn't read all those parenting magazines for nothing."

Marco still had his doubts. "What about school?"

"Chill, man," Thatch jumped in. "He's got two weeks to figure this out." Since his arms were full with Luffy, Thatch bumped shoulders with Ace. "And he's got us to help out."

"Us?" Marco repeated.

"Really?" Ace gaped.

"Of course! Right?" Thatch stared at Marco with a clear warning in his eyes: don't you dare leave me hanging, bro.

Ace stared at Marco too, doing a poor job of disguising his hope.

Marco turned to Luffy. He held a cautious hand over the baby, who made several grabbing motions in the air before finally latching onto Marco's finger. Such a frail grip; yet the baby had no intention of letting go.

Marco didn't know how this tiny creature did it. By fixating onto him with wide, guileless eyes, he made Marco feel like he would be the world's worst piece of shit if he backed away now.

Not that he had any intention to. Instead, he just sighed. "Can't be helped. Somebody's got to be the one taking this seriously."

"But you always take things too seriously," replied a suddenly gleeful Thatch.

"Lies." Then Marco turned to the new father. "Don't worry, Ace. I got your back."

"Thanks Marco. Thatch." Ace said in disbelief. "I don't know how I can…Just, thanks."

Thatch started to vibrate with excitement. "We're gonna be the best underage parents ever!" Just then, Luffy started fussing.

Ace immediately glared daggers at Thatch. "What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing!" Thatch squeaked in a panicky voice.

Nevertheless, Ace took Luffy back into his arms and started bouncing him lightly. The baby soon calmed down.

"Looks like his was just missing his dad," Marco mused.

"Yeah," Ace breathed. "He was, wasn't he? You missed your daddy, didn't you?"

"Wait," Thatch stared at Ace. "You aren't actually getting _paternal_ on us, are you?"

Ace looks just as confused as his friend. "Should I not be? I mean, he _is_ my son."

"Son?" Thatch crept over to Marco, speaking in a dramatic hush. "Ace really said it! "The S word!"

"Oh shut it, you guys." Ace booped Luffy's nose with his own, which brought out a gurgling coo from the baby.

Marco couldn't help but smile slightly, and Thatch start to squeal at the sight. He headed for the door. "Looks like we've got some shopping to do!"

"Do I have a choice?" but Marco followed him.

Ace stared at them. "Shopping? You guys don't have to-"

"Yeah. We do." Thatch pointed at the complimentary kit that the hospital had provided Ace, still scattered over the sofa. "You're about to run out of diapers and formula. And I can't see you leaving the house anytime soon." He chanted under his breath, "and we gotta get some cute jumpers and booties and pacifiers and toys..." Before Ace could even protest, Thatch was gone.

Marco was almost out the door when he turned back. "But seriously. You need to tell Garp."

Ace laughed easily. "Sure thing, man."

Marco gave him a searching look. Then he left, closing the door behind him.

Ace looked to Luffy. "You think Garp needs to know about this?"

Luffy gazed back silently.

"Yeah. Didn't think so."


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't the best of days when Ace got the call. Luffy had been running a light fever, and the doctor had told him there was nothing to do about it, except to give Luffy lots of fluids and wait it out.

"You gotta be kidding me," Ace complained, as he flipped his phone open. He started walking toward his room. "Yo Jinbei! What's up?" Meanwhile, in the living room, Thatch and Marco watched over a fussing Luffy, who suddenly made a discontent whine.

"Oh what's Luffy?" Thatch cooed. "You want your binky? Yesh you do~ Oh yesh you do~"

"Stop that," Marco muttered.

Thatch paused from dangling the blanket over Luffy's face. "Stop what?"

"The fake baby talk; it stunts language growth. They learn more when you talk in a normal tone." He turned to the baby in question. "Isn't that right, Luffy?"

Luffy stared back, then began to whimper.

"Don't say it," Marco warned. He didn't have to turn to know that Thatch was sporting a smug, shitfaced grin.

"Hey I wasn't even planning to. Isn't that right, Luffy~" Thatch tucked the blanket under Luffy's chin, then smoothed the downy tuft of hair with his fingers. "So where'd you learn that bullshit?"

"A science journal."

Thatch couldn't even find a word to describe how stupid that sounded.

"Hey, it's probably more accurate than your crappy parenting magazines."

Thatch sputtered. "Oh what? Because my sources aren't as boring as yours?"

"More like, they're not backed by scientific evidence."

"Well, have your 'scientists' ever even had kids?!"

"You assholes," Ace growled from behind them, looking even more pissed than usual.

"Ace, you alright?" Marco asked.

"No. Cuz you guys are upsetting Luffy."

Indeed, during the loud squabble, Luffy started to fuss again. Ace shoved past the both of them and sat down on the carpet. He started rocking the laundry basket, trying in vain to ignore the questioning stares he was getting, until he finally gave up. "My family's lawyer called."

"Shit," Thatch swore.

"Yeah," Ace agreed.

"Well, what are you gonna tell him?"

Ace watched as Luffy's eyes start to flutter closed. "I'm going to tell him that I'm doing fine. School's fine. Everything's fine."

Marco didn't say anything; his stare did the work. _Ace, we've been through this._

Ace glared back. _Yeah, and you're not changing my mind._

Marco threw his hands up in resignation. "Do what you want."

"I wish I could. But Jinbei actually wants to grab lunch with me."

"So? Just go, then."

"But…but Luffy's sick," Ace whined.

"Ace," Thatch snorted, "It's only a few hours. Nothing's going to-"

"Stop," Marco interrupted. "You're going to jinx it. Like in the movies, when someone says, 'what's the worst that could happen' or 'we're almost there'? That's when shit does down."

"You're so paranoid. Isn't he, Luffy?" Thatch turned back to Luffy with a goofy face. The now-sleeping infant answered with a light sneeze. "Why yes, Marco is a big paranoid dum dum."

"Fine then. Finish your sentence."

With a smirk, Thatch opened his mouth. Then closed it. "Oh great. Now you're making me paranoid too."

"Hey. Better safe than sorry." Marco looked over to a forlorn ace, who was lightly poking at Luffy's chubby cheeks, but not hard enough to wake him up. "If you're really that worried, then why don't you take him with you?"

"Ha. Hilarious, Marco." Ace sighed, admitting to himself that he didn't really have a choice. "You guys will take good care of him, right?"

"Obviously."

"Scout's honor!"

* * *

 **A/N: For those of you following this fic, you're the best. I should probably warn you that this story is going to be a mess of writing styles, moods, and word counts, and will swing between angst and dumb fluff. Also, Marco and Thatch are gonna hang around for a few more chapters, but I mainly want this story to be about Ace and Luffy. Well, we'll see how that goes.**

 **Also, I update very sporadically. But I do promise that I will eventually finish this fic.**


	4. Chapter 4

Marco's watch started beeping. "Oh look," he noted while hiding his apprehension, "it's feeding time."

He and Thatch stared each other down. Then they pulled their hands back and quietly chanted in unison: "Rock, paper, scissors."

Marco's rock over Thatch's scissors.

"Dammit!" Thatch took the offered bottle of formula from Marco.

Ever since his fever, Luffy had been a little...temperamental about his food. Thatch tried to make up for it with a little encouragement. "Come on, Luffy buddy. Here comes the food train! Guaranteed to make your tum tum go yum yum!"

Marco unsuccessfully tried to stifle his snickers.

"Choo choo! Chugga chugga chugga, woo, woo!"

Luffy eventually got half the bottle down. But just as the two teens were starting to get hopeful, it all came back up, splattering onto Thatch's face.

* * *

"Ace-kun, are you all right?"

"Hmm?" Ace suddenly realized that Jinbei was staring at him in concern. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Shit, what was the A/C setting when he left? What if Luffy got overheated? But he couldn't text Marco at the table without seeming rude.

"It's just that you seem a little distracted."

"Ah, sorry. I just have a lot on my mind lately," Ace explained as he kept twirling his spaghetti. Now that he thought about it, they might have been doing more harm than good, trying to forcing Luffy to eat when he didn't have an appetite. What if that just made him more stressed out? What if that made his cold worse?!

"Is it school?"

"Yeah. School. that." By this time, his spaghetti had turned into a giant rotating clump, with his fork in the center.

"Ace-kun."

Ace peeked up, dreading the serious tone in Jinbei's voice.

"You can be honest with me. I promise not to tell Garp."

That's good, Ace thought. Cuz I don't know how Garp's going to react when he finds out that he has a great grandson. Ace clenched and unclenched his hands. "Well. To be honest. I've kind of been burning through my allowances."

Jinbei seemed puzzled. "On what?"

Ace nodded his head up and down very slowly, trying to come up with something, and finally settling with: "Stuff."

Jinbei seemed rightfully puzzled; until he made a noise of realization and coughed to the side, trying to hide his blush. "Ah yes. Well. I suppose you are that age. I'll speak to Garp about it. Discretely."

Huh? What did Jinbei think he- oh. Oh HELL NO. Did Jinbei think that he was out of money because he was buying PORN?!

Ace hid his face with his hands. But that was better than the truth. "I'm counting on you."

He just wanted to get this thing over with. As if on cue, his phone started ringing. He excitedly flipped it open, but then he realized that Marco was the one calling. Not good. "Hello?"

"Ace. Calm down, and listen to me."

Ace's mouth went dry. In the background, he could hear Luffy crying.

"Luffy's fever spiked. We're taking him back to the hospital."

"What happened? I thought you said it would be fine!"

"And it is. That's why I told you to calm down. So just finish up your meal and get over here when you can. Don't freak out, ok?" And Marco hung up.

Don't freak out. Ok. Not freaking out.

"Ace-kun?"

He was calm. Calming down. He was just going to calmly cover his eyes with his hands. Calmly figure out what to do. Should he speed-eat the rest of his food? Or just not bother eating altogether? Could he run all the way to the hospital, or should he try hotwiring a car first?

"ACE!"

He bolted up. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's wrong is my son is dying, HE'S NOT DYING, he's fine, totally fine, because Marco said so, but oh, god oh godohgodohgod he's sick and he's tiny and I'm not there and I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, I'M HIS FATHER DAMMIT!

"My...friend," Ace started slowly. "His, uh...cousin. That I'm kinda close to. He's in the hospital with a bad fever."

"Oh dear. Will he be alright?"

"I don't know. That's the problem."

"Well, this certainly isn't the time to be eating in leisure. Not when it's obvious that you're worried sick." Jinbei waved the waiter over. "Check please."

Ace considered kissing Jinbei right then and there.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry to end on a cliffhanger. The next chapter is going to be the end of the angst for a while, so it'll be all fluff and timeskips.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Ace-kun!" Jinbei panted. "Slo-slow down."

Ace looked back for a moment, practically jogging in place. "Don't you worry, Jinbei! You just take your time." And he sped off through the hospital halls.

"Yes. I'll be sure to do that." Jinbei wheezed over the information desk. After signing in, he took his time reaching the NICU. All the while, he mulled over Ace's strange behavior at the restaurant. He couldn't help but think he was missing something. After all, Ace seemed much too attached to someone else's cousin.

Eventually Jinbei neared the NICU, where a large glass window revealed several cribs, only a few currently occupied. He noticed three young men standing nearby, Ace among them. One of them had to be the friend that Ace had spoken of, but that was the strange part. They certainly seemed worried enough...but as for Ace? He was on the verge of heartbreak.

That's what they said last time." Ace almost sounded bitter, talking to them. "They told me just a few days, and he'll be fine."

While the blond one tried to sooth Ace's frazzled nerves, Jinbei took the chance to look at the baby Ace had been focusing on. "Ah," he said out loud. But on the inside, the realization hit him like a wrecking ball. Ace turned to him in panic. Well, that just about confirmed it in Jinbei's mind.

Ace's friends had blonde and red-orange hair.

Ace had black hair.

The small baby screaming his lungs out on the other side of the glass? What little hair it had, looked damn black to him.

"Ace." Jinbei turned back. Ace's friends seemed to have made themselves scarce. Ace stared back, already on the defensive.

Jinbei sighed. "Of all the foolish...so you lie to me? To your grandfather?"

"What could I have said? You really think that old geezer would have let me keep Luffy?"

"So you thought you could deal with this whole mess by yourself?!"

"I'm not alone! Marco and Thatch, they-"

"They are friends, and friends have their limits, Ace! This is your personal problem! And now it is your family's too."

"Family?" Ace scoffed. "What family? You mean the old geezer who visits me every couple years?"

"Ace, you know Garp is busy."

"I didn't say he wasn't. I'm saying that he's not here! This has nothing to do with him!"

"He is your guardian, so it has EVERYTHING to do with him!"

There was a moment of tense silence, made worse by the hoarse cries from the other side of the glass, which never left Ace's attention. "And school?"

"I'll drop out," Ace quickly shot back, as if he'd already figured everything out. "All I need is my GED, right? There are loads of ways to get that online."

"Ace-kun," Jinbei cautioned, "I think you're jumping into this too quickly. This is a very important time in your life."

"And Luffy isn't important?"

From the fierceness in Ace's voice, Jinbei couldn't doubt how he felt, yet... "Luffy is a whole other person, Ace-kun. And totally dependent on you. I know you can take care of yourself, but-"

"No, I can do it, Jinbei! I've read up on it. And Marco and Thatch promised to help me out-"

"I've just told you, you can't just rely on your friends."

"I'm not! I'm just saying that I know what I'm getting into. This," Ace waved toward the NICU, "This was out of my control, ok?"

Jinbei felt a twinge of worry. Now that he was resigned to the fact that Ace had a son, the severity of the situation finally sunk in. "What happened?"

Ace bit his lip. "Luffy's had a bad immune system since birth. He got a cold, and the doctors told us to wait it out. But it suddenly got worse, so my friends had to bring him in. They just gave him some antibiotics, said they'll monitor him for a few more days."

At least Ace was in control of the situation, despite his bursts of emotion. Jinbei always thought Ace was rather mature for his age, but had never seen it up close.

He'll be fine," Ace pressed. "So please, please don't tell Garp yet, ok?"

"Don't tell him? He is my client, and your grandfather!"

"Yeah, well, Luffy is my son! And you know what Garp's gonna do once he finds out?"

Jinbei hated it, but he could make a good guess. After all, Garp had sent Dragon to a boarding school at a young age, after the death of his wife. Then after adopting Ace, he'd left the baby with a guardian, until he was old enough to live by himself.

Jinbei didn't reply for the longest time. He watched that tiny child on the other of the window. If he refused to keep quiet, then obviously, Garp would find a way to take custody over Luffy. Let Ace finish his high school education, then figure out what to do from there. It was the responsible thing to do.

But keeping Ace from his family, when it was almost killing him to be on the wrong side of the glass...

"You're too young to have a child, Ace-kun."

Ace looked crushed. "Jinbei, I-"

"No. Now I admire how much you care for," Jinbei took a deep breath, "your friend's cousin. But there's no way I would be able to, in good conscience, tell your grandfather that you had a child. So I won't."

Ace stared at him. Then caught on quickly. Smart boy. "Is that so?"

"That is so," Jinbei nodded deliberately. "Now we'll have to meet again to discuss you being home schooled. Then the matter of your allowance. I'll just have to expand it for...personal reasons." He gave a small laugh. "Have you the legal paperwork for the child?"

Ace nodded.

"Send me a copy. And what else...?" Jinbei rubbed his temple; he could feel a headache coming on. "I suppose the rest will have to wait. I'll bet it's not your top priority at the moment." He could tell that Ace was just waiting for the chance to rush into the NICU.

As Jinbei walked away, he wondered if he was making the biggest mistake of his life.

"Thanks Jinbei," Ace called out from behind him.

"Don't thank me just yet. Both our heads are going to roll when Garp finds out."

* * *

Ace sat next to the small clear box, which was connected to a ventilator. Inside, Luffy was still crying. He seemed to be tiring out, but every sound poked at Ace's heart.

Even after putting on scrubs and gloves, he wasn't allowed to touch Luffy. Stupid sanitation standards. He had to stick his hands through large, bulky gloves attached to the side of the box. It felt off, latex against soft skin, when just a few hours ago he would have held Luffy freely in his arms.

Ace didn't really know what to do, how do make everything better. So he tried patting Luffy on the stomach.

"Shh, shh, shh. It's ok Luffy. I'm here now."

Slowly Luffy started to settle down, his wailing turned into soft whimpers. Ace wanted to think his presence managed to calm Luffy down. More like, Luffy was just too exhausted to cry any longer.

Ace couldn't blame his friends for this messed up situation.

Ok, he did, a little bit. But mostly he blamed himself. He knew he was being irrational from the stress, and staying at home wouldn't have made things any better. But facts were facts. He hadn't been there when all this happened.

With a sigh, he rested his head against the plastic.

It didn't matter that Luffy was ok now.

He just wanted to go home.

Just wanted to take Luffy home.


	6. Chapter 6

Thatch watched as Luffy bit down enthusiastically on his chew toy. Out of all the toys they bought, it was his favorite one. The only thing that distracted him from his teething pains.

Alright, buddy," Thatch quietly begged. "Please cooperate with me."

He pulled on the toy, and Luffy's head moved forward with it. He tugged the toy back and forth, but Luffy had latched on like a stubborn pit-bull. For a moment, Thatch was afraid that he would have to physically lift Luffy off the floor before he relinquished his toy, until finally it popped out of his mouth, and Luffy start to hum with displeasure.

"Mmm..." Luffy raised his small arms over his head, reaching for his toy. He looked like he was about to cry.

Thatch felt the same way, as he quickly handed the toy to Ace. "Hurry up!"

"Alright, alright!" Ace grabbed it with a pink kitchen glove and ran over to the kitchen sink. He cracked the water to scalding, and started giving the toy a thorough scrub down.

"Mmm." From the living room, Luffy gave a soft whine. "Bom, babu ga bommmmmm." which translated into Thatch's mind as: where's my teething toy? Thatch, it hurts. Make it go away. Why are you being so mean? I thought you were my friend!

Thatch started to tear up. "You're so brave, Luffy. Just a little longer."

Marco was tempted to call Thatch a sap again. However, looking at Luffy's wide brown eyes, that slightly downcast expression, the way he puffed out his hamster-like cheeks... in the future, he would probably have all three of them rolling in the palm of his hand.

"Luffy." Marco squatted down to eye level with the grumbling baby. "Look. Ace is almost done back there. Just hang tight, ok?" he reached out a hand to pat Luffy on the head. And got bitten instead. "Ow!"

"Marco, get your hand out of Luffy's mouth!" Ace was finally back. "You're gonna make him sick."

"Yes, thank you for your concern. Don't worry, I'm fine."

Meanwhile, Luffy was happily chewing on his toy again.

* * *

"Esh."

"Yeees, Luffy."

"Esh, Esh."

"Yep, that's me; that's your papa."

"Aba, boogahwee, buh."

"That's right; Marco is a boring old man, with the sense of humor of a dead fish."

"Screw you."

"Ambu ga, ba, bau, baubo."

"Uh huh. And Thatch is a nasty jerk who takes up all my time with you."

"Hey! It's not my fault you can't change a diaper."

"Yes I can! Isn't that right, Luffy?"

"Ugah!"

"Yes that's right!"

"Uumaba, booba, wauuuueeeeeee!"

"Oh what's that? You say I'm your favorite, and those two can go to hell?"

"Hey!"

"For the record, it's your fault for falling asleep during your designated playtime."

"I'm not listening to Marco right now~ cuz I'm having a conversation with Luffy~ isn't that right Luffy?"

"Esh!"

"Aww, I love you too, bud!"

"Dammit, I wish I had my own kid."

"Thatch, our lives are complicated enough as it is."

"...you really are a dead fish."

"Shut up."


	7. Chapter 7

"Luuuffy~! Thatch!" Ace opens the door to his apartment, while Marco brings in the rest of the groceries. They find Thatch throwing the cushions off the sofa, then running into the kitchen to open the dishwasher.

"What the hell?" Ace chuckles. "What are you doing, Thatch?"

"...UM."

"You're going to wake Luffy up." Ace heads over to Luffy's favorite laundry basket to find it empty. The smile slides off his face. "Thatch. Where's Luffy?"

"We're playing hide and seek," Thatch mumbles, hiding an apron behind his back.

"Then why aren't you out of sight?"

"Because the one hiding is...Luffy." The last word comes out as a squeak.

After taking a moment to throttle Thatch upside the head, Ace starts frantically helping Thatch upend the house. He checks behind the window curtains.

"You really think he's up there?!" Thatch yells in disbelief.

"Well, you looked in the dishwasher!"

"How does a baby get lost in the first place?" Marco asks, checking under that sofa.

"Done that already, Marco." Suddenly Thatch remembers. "Ace, we're on the second floor, right?"

Ace's face turns a sickly pale color. He opens the window, scanning the sides of the building and down below.

Marco tiptoes toward the door. "I'm going to look outside. Not that I'm endorsing that idea. Just checking all the possibilities, is all." Then he practically flies out the apartment.

Meanwhile, Thatch has started rocking himself on the kitchen floor, occasionally letting out a hysterical chuckle. Nearby, Ace opens the fridge and sifts through the veggie drawer.

* * *

Five minutes later, a relieved Marco opens the front door. "No seriously hurt babies outside, nope nope." His eyes zero in on Thatch in the living room, holding the baby in question. He's there is a few strides. Luffy looks intact, better than great. He is tugging Thatch's beard with great curiosity. Thatch himself does not respond. He's too busy hugging Luffy for dear life.

"Is Luffy alright?" Marco asks.

Thatch shrugs weakly. "Probably."

Just then, Ace comes by without a word. He dumps a packed set of kitchen knives into a pile several feet away, which Marco has just noticed for the first time. Then Ace hurries off again.

"He was in the bathroom cabinet."

Marco stares at Thatch. Then at Luffy. "This kid?"

"Yes, this kid evaded me and managed to crawl all the way past the living room, down the hallway, and into the bathroom. Marco, he was sleeping with the cleaning supplies and the roach spray! My god, you should've heard the weird noise Ace made when he opened the cabinet. Oh wait, that was probably me."

Ace passes by again, this time with a set of glass tumblers.

"What's Ace doing?"

"Getting rid of all the dangerous stuff. He's going to store it at my place until he can, uh, childproof his apartment."

"I thought we already did that."

"Not thoroughly enough, apparently."

"Shit." Marco pokes Luffy in the cheek, allowing his finger to be batted away. "This kid's going to be the death of us."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This is a short update, dedicated to The Eternal Empress whose positive comments were the kick in the pants I needed.**

* * *

For a teenager, high school seemed to encompass their entire lives. Graduation, then, was the time to say goodbye to the familiar and embrace the unknown. Ace, however, had long given up his life as a normal high schooler. He felt himself wandering in limbo, as he watched the graduation ceremony from the bleachers on the second floor. Even Thatch and Ace, who'd visited Luffy just yesterday, seemed so far away.

"Ba," Luffy quietly chanted from Ace's lap, reaching for the balloons tied to the ceiling.

"Those are balloons Luffy. Can you say it with me? Ba-lloons."

"Ba-uuuuuuu!"

"Perfect," Ace laughed quietly. He let go of his bitter thoughts. He'd made his decision, and he would have done it all over again.

"You better not be getting any stupid ideas, Ace." Mrs. Bay, the long-suffering mother to Thatch, raised an eyebrow next to him.

"No Mrs. Bay. The moment's passed."

"Well good. You're no less intelligent, no less hard working than any of those kids down there. Isn't that right Luffy?"

Luffy babbled something with his usual beatific smile. That, along with the motherly praise, made Ace blush uncontrollably. "That's cheating, Mrs. Bay." Ace bounced Luffy against his knee, earning himself a giggle.

"He's getting pretty big," commented Mrs. Bay, tugging on Luffy's hands. "Hey look Bug, there's my idiot son walking across the stage now."

Ace raised Luffy in his arms. "You see Thatch, Lu?"

"DA!" Luffy's echoed through the entire gymnasium. Ace quickly ducked down in his seat, his face crimson. Down below, he could hear Thatch scream, "I love you too, Luffy!" followed by scattered laughter.

"Esh. Da, Da?" Luffy made grabbing motions in the direction of Thatch's voice.

"No Lu, we're hiding from Thatch right now," Ace said as he cocooned Luffy in his arms. "It's hide and seek, remember?"

"hi n' shee?" Luffy said excitedly. He curled up into a little pillbug.

Once Mrs. Bay got over her smothered laugh, she patted Luffy's soft downy hair "So Thatch tells me you''ve passed your GED. What are your plans after this?"

Ace shugged. "Find a job, obviously. I'd be up for anything that lets me stay at home with Luffy. At the very least, I could do some freelance writing? Fill out surveys?"

"A bright kid like you? Please." Mrs. Bay started fishing through her purse. "You ever heard of Whitebeard Ltd?"

"Yeah. It's the big building downtown."

"Well, I work there as the manager of international relations. So I can personally vouch for them. We have a full-time daycare, free of charge to all employees."

"Let me get this straight." Ace held his hand out in protest. "You're recruiting me."

"Heck no. I'm just giving your suggestion. I'll put in a good word if you're interested." Mrs. Bay gave him an appraising look, and hands him a piece of paper with a phone number. "But I think you can speak for yourself."

Ace wasn't sure what to say. He checked on Luffy, who had fallen asleep during his game of hide and seek. WIth a smile, Ace held him closer, watching the graduates continue to filter through the stage. "I'll think about it."

* * *

"MA!" Luffy waddled down the parking lot, as fast as his little legs could go. Marco squatted down with his arms held out expectantly, but Thatch got to Luffy first.

"Was that you I heard, Lu-Lu?" Thatch squealed, rubbing Luffy against his face.

"Uuuu.." Luffy squirmed against the feeling of Thatch's scratchy goatee.

Marco got up and dusted off his pants. "I think that's his way of saying 'get the hell away from me, Thatch'."

"Hey, you watch your language, ya bastard."

"Bastah!"

Thatch stared at Luffy, horrified. "Did he just?"

"That was his first two-syllable word," seethed a rapidly approaching Ace. "Thatch, you bastard!"

"Bastah!" Luffy whirled to meet Ace, whose face quickly went from furious to contrite. "No no no, Luffy!"

"Alright." Marco smugly picked up Luffy and headed for Mrs. Bay's minivan. "Let's get you away from these bad influences."


	9. Chapter 9

Sometimes, Fossa forgot his official title. Probably the Head Liason of Interdepartmental Affairs. But really, it boiled down to doing whatever the bossman told him. Sometimes it meant hunting down five thousand clown noses ("And they absolutely MUST squeak. I won't work with that foam shit, Fossa") and sometimes it meant handling the locust infestation in the third floor ("I don't care if it's a biblical omen, just get it out before Izo threatens to quit again"). Whitebeard Ltd. didn't get much new blood; it was a close-knit company, almost a well-oiled machine where retirement more often than not meant you died on the job. But recently Whitey had gotten attached to a couple blokes, so Fossa was given the task of interviewing them ("Test them to see if they've got any spine. If it breaks, they're not good enough for the job").

"Name?"

"Portgas D. Ace," the kid in front of Fossa said nervously. "Sir."

"So Ace. Tell me about yourself."

"I recently graduated high school." Ace paused, before adding on, "and I'm looking for a job."

"No shit. So why choose here?"

"Well, you've got a daycare, for one. Aw shit, no, I meant, aw sorry. I didn't mean to." He started muttering to himself, "Dammit, Ace, you practiced for this!"

Now just to be clear, Fossa was more than capable of being the mean guy. But the way he figured, this was just a kid straight outta high school, the first interviewee in a while. He could cut the guy a little slack. "You got anyone at home?"

It was like the clouds had lifted, and Ace's eyes became bright and sparkly. "As a matter of fact," he said, pulling out his wallet and with a twitch, a long accordion of photos unfurled out. "Ya see, this is my son Luffy…"

* * *

"Thatch, right?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

"You got any work experience?"

"Well… no. My talents are more of the miscellaneous type." He shrugged. "I'm good at cooking?"

"Kid, this ain't a restaurant."

"Which I am very clear of," Thatch was hasty to say, whirling his hands around. "But teamwork! And following a recipe, kinda like manuals. And directions. Except I don't really like being bossed around. Got enough crap from high school, I'd rather be my own boss."

Fossa didn't even know where to start. Apparently the look on his face said enough, because the interviewee started to wither. "Um. I make some mean chicken nuggets?"

Fossa's eyebrow twitched. "Chicken nuggets?"

Thatch mistook that as enthusiasm. "Yes, I do! You see, Most people are under the impression that chicken nuggets can only be bought which, helloooooo think about the preservatives? And the artificial meat? But I only need a few ingredients, all of which are totally affordable on the smallest of budgets, and the outcome is perfect for any tykes out there, notwithstanding certain adorable little godsons. Of course, it doesn't really matter-"

"Because Luffy will eat anything," Fossa finished in monotone.

Thatch gaped, too shocked to stop talking. "Right. But you see, it totally makes the difference because if Luffy only ate the things he chose-"

"He'd die of scurvy, and we can't have the cute bubby losing his adorable little teeth now can we?" Yeah, Fossa knew the routine. Just yesterday, he'd been subjected to seven hours of a certain Portgas D. Ace bragging about his little one. Forget the interview questions; Fossa had to sacrifice his favorite jacket just to escape the building, running from the distant sound of, "but that's not the last album!" He opened his mouth to explain when Thatch started toward the door, phone by his ear with, "911? I'd like to report a stalker!"

"That's the conclusion you come to?!" Fossa almost flipped his chair getting up, chasing after the kid.

* * *

"…Well, Mr. Phoenix. I'll be honest. You're one of the most promising candidates I've met this week."

"Thank you."

"Which isn't saying much, because the other two were batshit insane." Fossa stood up, with Marco smoothly following, and they exchanged a strong, firm handshake. "You'll be getting our response soon."

"I'm looking forward to it. I-" Marco's phone started ringing with Justin Bieber's "Baby". Fossa was about to cross off his previously good impressions of the interviewee, when Marco suddenly turned pale. "I'm really sorry, I have to take this."

Marco listened for a second, before sprinting out of the room. "Wait Luffy did WHAT?!"

Fossa let his head drop to the table. Because of course.

* * *

"…In summary," an exhausted Fossa said, "It's either the best or worst hiring decision you'll ever make. Also, I know so much about Luffy, he feels like my own kid."

Whitebeard looked thoughtful, his stare intense enough to make lesser men keel over. He leaned against his desk, hands clasped. "Fossa. You got any experience running a daycare?"

"I knew it, I knew you were going to ask me that!" Fossa shrieked, jabbing a finger in Whitebeard's direction. Finally he sighed. "And yes, I do."


	10. Chapter 10

Sabo turns off the ignition to his car, staring at the tacky mansion in front of him. He never thought he would have voluntarily returned to his family home. It figures that his reason for coming back was someone he wasn't even related to.

"Well, if it isn't the prodigal son."

Sabo ignored the sarcasm coming from his mother, who was leaning against the doorway. He doubted she even understood what 'prodigal' meant. "You said you had a letter for me."

She holds it up between her fingers. "It's from someone back in Foosha. You remember that backwater little town, don't you?"

A lot more than I want to, Sabo thinks to himself, taking the letter. He tried to hide his surprise when he saw the sender's name: Portgas D. Ace. "Anything else?"

"Well, you know, if you would just give me your address, I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of saving your mail for you."

"I guess so." And I would not have to drive two hours to retrieve said mail, he thinks to himself, but that's not going to happen. "Well, I gotta head back now. Work and stuff."

"You're leaving already? Such a shame." His mother sounds utterly insincere.

"Yeah. If I had more time, I could stay over. Pilfer the heirloom silverware while you're sleeping." He quickly speed walks to his car, dogged by his mother's shrill screams.

He drove a bit, but after passing the third immaculately maintained golf course. Sabo finally gave in to his impatience and pulled over. He carefully tore open the side of the envelope to pop its contents out and began to read.

 **Hey there Sabo. Look time no see. No wait, talk. God I already sound like an idiot.**

Sabo chuckled, feeling relieved that some people never changed with time.

 **I just wanted to apologize for what happened ten years back. I guess I was kind of an emotional little shit, and I didn't really know how to react when my best friend, no, my ONLY friend was moving away. So I took it out on you. Hope your nose is ok.**

"Asshole," sabo quipped aloud. "It's probably in better condition than your shoulder."

 **I know, I know. You're probably thinking, why the hell am I bringing this up now? Well, that's actually** kinda **of an interesting story. See, I had kinda planned on writing back when I got your letter, what, nine and a half years back? But I didn't really know how what to say. So then, I just let it drag on and on until I misplaced your letter, so then I wouldn't have had an address to send to even if I did** managed **to scrape together an apology. But then this morning, Luffy found the letter when he was exploring the bookshelf. Even though I told him not to do that. I swear, I'm going to have to surround the whole apartment in bubble wrap or something. The kid climbs up EVERYTHING.**

 **Oh right, I never told you. Of course, I never told you, we haven't been talking. Duh. Anyway, I have a son now. His name's Luffy.**

Sabo's eyes bugged out, and he was immensely glad he'd stopped driving, or he'd probably have swerved through a golf course and right into one of those artificial lakes. Ace had a son?! Not that some of his friends weren't already parents and all, but this was Ace. He hated kids, hated their snot, the messy way they ate, and especially all the crying. Scratch that, he'd kind of hated on everybody, back when they were friends.

 **He's four years old right now. Pretty sure he's also the cutest kid in the world. And if you don't agree with me, then I'm sorry, but I WILL FIGHT YOU. So will every other employee of Whitebeard Co. because they've kind of all named themselves his unofficial godfathers/mothers.**

 **Anyway, he's the one who wanted to patch things up between us. Said that 'when people don't say sorry, then people get sad, and he doesn't like sad people". Only he says stuff like '** sowwy **' and '** peepo **'. You'd have to hear it for yourself, it's adorable. But yeah, he wrote you a little something too.**

Sabo pulls out the page from behind. It looked like someone puked out a rainbow made from crayons. In his mind, he added refrigerator magnets to his shopping list.

 **I totally get it if you don't want to write back. You don't have any reason to forgive me. Hell, you probably don't even remember who I am. But…would you consider writing back to Luffy? Just think** on **it. The kid's already convinced that you're gonna be his friend. So it would mean a lot to him.**

 **Thanks.**

 **Ace**

* * *

Whatsit say, whatsit say, whatsit say?" Luffy eagerly clung to Ace's sleeve, craning his head to see the contents of the letter.

"Slow down kid, before you hurt yourself." Ace patted Luffy's head to calm him down, and then he cleared his throat. "Dear Luffy, I was so happy to receive your letter! Oh I see how it is, Way to ignore me, ya jacka-"

"Ace!" Luffy whined, bouncing on his tiny feet.

"Right. Moving on. 'I was so happy to receive your letter. I used to be best friends with your dad, so I hope we can be good friends too! Thank you for your picture, it's beautiful! I can tell you're going to be a great artist in the future!' Jeez, how many exclamation marks are you gonna use?

"'When do you start school? What are your favorite hobbies, your favorite foods? I hope to learn as much about you as I can, so that we can make up for lost time. Sincerely, Sabo.' Well, that's kinda nice," Ace smiles, almost missing the writing at the very bottom of the page. "PS. I suppose I could forgive your father. After all, my teachers at school did always tell me to be nice on poor, emotional little brats."

"Bastard." Ace didn't know whether to smile or punch someone in the face.

"Bastah?"

"Ah Luffy, let's pretend I never said that," Ace laughed nervously.

* * *

Sabo jolts awake to his ringtone, the pages of his textbook still stuck to his cheek. He mumbles a "hello?" into the phone.

"Asshole."

Sabo stares at his phone. "Who's this?"

"The poor emotional little brat."

Sabo laughs out loud. "Right. The idiot who doesn't know how to apologize."

"Rude."

"I rest my case. By the way, that fight of yours? Not gonna happen."

"So you agree that Luffy's got no competition?"

Sabo holds up the photo from Luffy and Ace's third letter: a selfie of the two of them at the park, both with incandescent smiles. "Hell yes. Can't say the same for the old guy next to him, though."

"What, you mean that sexy beast?"

"Ugh. Excuse me while I vomit. Does Luffy know how much of a narcissist you are?"

"Of course not. I am trying to play the cool, responsible dad."

"Right, right. I'll have to see that in person before I believe it."

"...you can if you want."

"Pardon?"

"You should come over the next time you pass by the city."

"…Maybe I should."


	11. Chapter 11

Luffy's Christmas began when the doorbell rang at 7:00 AM.

"DOOR!" Luffy sprang out of bed. "Ace, door, itsa door!"

"Hmgbh," Ace muttered as he oozed out of his blankets. "Now I wonder who that could be?" He heard a large gasp, followed by a loud squeal, "Isit SAAAAANTA?!"

Ace opened the door, Luffy hanging from the doorknob like a two-toed sloth. He viewed the newcomer with a smirk. "Hey you."

Sabo stood outside, an exaggerated amount of presents in his arms, lips quivering from the urge to smile. "Hey you!"

Luffy peeked from behind the door excitedly.

"And you must be Luffy!"

Luffy's smile fell. He gazed up at Ace and pointed at the stranger. "'snot Santa."

Ace muffled a snicker behind his hand. "No, this is Sabo. You know, pen pal Sabo? The one you've been waiting for weeks to see?"

"Oh." Disappointed, Luffy trudged back into the house, stopping once to cast a forlorn glance at the underwhelming guest.

"Well." Ace scratched his head. "No Sabo stop, no crying. No. I mean, it's Christmas! You really can't beat Santa at the moment; no one can! Just give Luffy some time to come down from Santa fever, he really wanted to meet you-"

"SSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"Oh hear that? Guess it's finally kicked in that you arrived."

"BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A wide-eyed Luffy raced out the door to give Sabo a big hug around the legs. And send Sabo flying backwards.

* * *

"Sabo?"

"Yes?" Sabo assisted Luffy as he attempted to clamber onto his lap. Sabo hid a wince as the effort made the bump on his head ache. Really, he was grateful that hitting his head on the railing hadn't caused long-term damage. Or memory loss.

"Iss the Easty Bunny a ninja too?"

Sabo stared at Luffy. Stared at the Christmas tree decked with plastic ornaments and popcorn garlands. Stared at the floor littered with decimated wrapping paper, and a toy store's worth of presents, coming from his many many uncles and aunts. Stared at the new purple dragon that Luffy was clutching. He was so confused. "Where did that question come from?"

"You know, cuz," Luffy leaned in to whisper at best as he could, which was only a little bit loud. "Cuz Santa's a ninja, but thas a secret", then continued at normal volume, "so is the Easty Bunny a ninja, an-and the Toofairy, and they live on a ninja ship and go on aventures?"

Sabo stared at Ace.

"I don't know where he got it from, I really don't."

"Datch tol me! An' he sed, cuz Santa gotta visit a whole lotta kids on Chrissmas, so he makes a bajillion shadow clones and they go to all da houses, and Santa's good at going down chimmeys and runnin on roofs, cuz he's a ninja. But makin clones its got him tired, so das why he gotsa eat the milk and cookies."

Sabo stared at Ace. Ace stared at Sabo.

"Sound theory to me."

"Makes perfect sense." Ace scooched closer to the two. "Well, what do you think Luffy? Is the Easter Bunny a ninja?"

Luffy puts his thinking face on, his brain racing. "Yeah. But its also a chicken, cuz…"

Sabo kept listening. It was the warmest he'd ever felt on a Christmas day.


	12. Chapter 12

**\- Luffy is uncharacteristically scared –**

And Ace is furious. Because he knows that Luffy, unlike some may assume, does actually get scared. He tunnels into Ace's bed during thunderstorms, and he leans into Ace's protective embrace when they pass by barking dogs. But Ace has never seen him pressed flat against his leg like this, shuddering with fright.

Even so, his fear is justified. Ace tears his gaze away from his precious son to glare at his hell-raising grandfather who's looming in his doorway.

Honestly, he's surprised that it took three years for Garp to realize. Ace had managed to make Garp the legal guardian for Luffy by slipping the form under his field trip permission slip (not that he ended up going) and his health information forms, and griping at Garp to sign them already, unless he was losing his eyesight. He'd received a cuff on the shoulder, but Garp had signed them without a glance.

If only Ace had pretended that he was going to college, instead of working at Whitebeard Co. That was the start of Garp's suspicions, since Ace had wanted to be an engineer since he was little. But even Ace knows that it was impossible to keep Luffy a secret forever. The only reason that Ace hadn't spoken sooner was the paranoia that Garp would put into action what She had wanted, with the excuse that it was for Ace's own good.

True to his nature, Garp manages to surprise Ace.

The aging man crouches to Luffy's eye-level and glances at Ace with disbelief. "So this is my great-grandson."

Ace jerks his head into a nod.

Garp has two volumes, loud and thunderous, but he makes an attempt at conversational levels. "What's your name, boy?"

The child clenches the fabric of Ace's pants tighter. "Luffy."

Garp's eyes soften. "And how old are you?"

"Twee." Luffy holds up two fingers.

"His birthday was last month," Ace offers.

Garp huffs. "And you didn't tell me? …Never mind that now. Luffy, you want to go somewhere with Great Grandpa?"

"Gweh-Gwampah?"

"Haha, that's right!" Garp delights at his new title. "We could take you to a steakhouse! They probably have kids' meals there, don't they?"

Ace smiles for the first time. "Luffy doesn't need a kids' meal."

Garp gapes before booming with laughter. He hoists Luffy into the air, the room ringing with delighted shrieks. "Bwahaha, he's my grandson alright!"


	13. Chapter 13

**\- Luffy's First Recital -**

"Marco!" screeched the department chief.

"Yeah, Izo."

That's Mr. Izo to you," they say, jabbing a finger in Marco's direction. "Now where's your friend been slipping off to?"

"His kid's on the fourth floor."

Izo deflated. Well how were they supposed to argue that?

"Ace wants to spend what time he can, since they don't get home till 7."

Izo winced with guilt.

"He's worried that when Luffy grows up he won't even remember his own dad-"

"Fine fine!" Izo bites at their suddenly-appearing handkerchief. "Away with you, I must not deprive that child of his father any longer!"

Marco walked off with a shrug.

* * *

three days later...

* * *

"Blamenco."

No answer.

"Blamenco!"

No answer.

Izo sighed dramatically before yelling, "'Ey Blam-Blam!"

"What's shakin, Zo-Zo!"

"Please kill me already. Now, where are the new kids?"

"Which one? Pineapple, Pompadour, and Freckles?"

"Do we have any others?" Izo hissed, before throwing their hands up. "What's it take to get something done up here?"

"Bye, Zo-zo," Blamenco tells a departing Izo.

That's MISS ZO-ZO TO YOU. Wait. Just forget it! I'll find them myself!"

* * *

one week later...

* * *

Luffy was standing on the carpet because he wasn't allowed his own soapbox.

[ Marco narrowed his eyes. "Thatch, that's dangerous."

"He needs height! you know, cuz he's a star?"

"That thing's gonna collapse underneath him."

Ace was wearing a deep frown. "He's gonna hurt himself."

"So irresponsible," Marco said.

"I'm gonna name Fossa his godfather instead."

"Whoa whoa whoa." Thatch raised his hands in surrender. "No need, see? I'm putting the ladder back." He lowered his voice to mutter, "Stupid, trying-to-be-boring-responsible parents, wouldn't know talent if it broke their leg."]

Fossa cleared his throat. "And now, for the very first time in the history of Fossa's Fossa Daycare-"

"That's the dumbest name I ever heard!"

"Shut it!"

"Hey, no bad words in front of Luffy."

"I'LL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW!" Fossa yelled back. "Ah, no, Luffy, I was kidding, just a joke. Anyway, ahem, it is my privilege to you, to introduce the star of this company: the one, the only, LLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUFFY!"

Luffy proudly stomped forward, amidst a roar of applause and whistling. There were 8 cell phone cameras, 2 video cameras, one with a (stolen) tripod, all trained on the tiny performer. But Luffy didn't look the slightest bit nervous. He just took a big deep breath and started to sing:

"Octopus, octopus,

Swimming in the water,

Octopus, octopus,

Splash, splash, splash!"

His last line was accompanied by three loud claps.

"Tuna fish, tuna fish,

swimming in the water,

tuna fish, tuna fish,

Splash splash splash!"

Some people joined in with scattered claps.

Thatch kept making high pitched noises, while Ace's lips wobbled with emotion and Marco had a rare smile on his face.

"Hoomon gus whale, hoomongus whale,

Swimming in the water,

Hoomongus whale, hoomonkey whale,

Widda SPLAAASH!"

Luffy looks around, pausing for dramatic effect. "All done!" He's met with earsplitting applause and whistles and barely appropriate catcalls. He takes a deep bow, his hair grazing the floor.

"Encore!"

"ENCORE!"

And who was Fossa to deny his star actor. He started playing the song again on his tinky xylophone. This time, when Luffy started to sing, everyone joined along. From the stoic Marco, to a laughing Whitebeard, to Izo who had just slipped in and was now bawling into their handkerchief.

"OCTOPUS, OCTOPUS…"


	14. Chapter 14

**\- Luffy Never Calls Him Dad -**

In the beginning, Ace was too busy taking care of Luffy to correct him. By now, it's so natural that he doesn't question it.

Thatch brings it up, when he, Ace, Marco, and Luffy are eating at a burger joint. "Doesn't it hurt? Not being referred to as "Dad" or "Daddy" or "Pops" or "Father"?"

Ace looks up from his milkshake. "Have you been watching Downton Abbey again? No one uses 'Father.'"

"And Pops is for the President only," Marco adds, referring to their respective boss.

"Oh yeah," Ace smiles. "He finds it hilarious when Luffy calls him by that."

"Better than Grandpops. He'd never live it down."

Their laughter makes Luffy look up from his bacon cheeseburger.

Marco catches his gaze. "Luffy, who don't you trying calling Ace "dad" for once?"

Luffy gives him a tolerant look, like he's explaining things to an idiot. "But Ace is Ace."

"Yeah, but-"

"And Ace is a super cool name. Like a car duh!"

"Oh, you mean a card. Like playing cards." Thatch leans forward. "You ever heard of the phrase, "Ace up your sleeve?"'

Luffy's chomping down on his burger, but he tries to turn his head to look into his sleeves.

"No, not literally. It means…" Thatch's voice lowers to a hush. "A hidden secret weapon."

"SECRET WEAPON?! SO COOL!"

"Luffy, what have I told you." Marco gives a practiced sigh, wiping his napkin over Luffy's mess-studded face. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Aww, Marco's such a mother hen."

"Ace…"

"Hey, Luffy, you remember what a hen is, right?"

Luffy's eyes light up. "MAMA CHICKEN!"

It's a nickname that Marco never successfully gets rid of.

* * *

 **A/N: Guess who wrote something a couple months back and updated on AO3 but forgot to upload it here? Ehehehe /nervous sweat**


End file.
